Lyrics

I’m looking to find me an English man. Anyone from the U.K.
Who doesn’t mind an American, an eccentric, broke divorcee.
As long as he’s kind and a citizen, I’ll be a perfect wife!
I’ll even love him (if I can) so I could have a G.P. for life!!!

I’ll find me an English Man
So that I could get my dental work done, and
Maybe find out what’s wrong with my arm
Get married on the steps of the NHS and then
Find out what causes the pain in my chest
If I find me an English man… So find me an English man! (or English woman)

I’m looking to find me an English man before my looks start to fade.
Before high cholesterol takes its toll, before I stroke out or become an old maid!
As long as he’s kind and a citizen, I’ll pay for my plane fare.
For the price of one month’s premiums I could have a new life over there.

I’ll find me an English Man
No more deductibles or co-pays
I could finally take a holiday, and
We’ll honeymoon in the south of Spain
Once I get the right pill for my joint pain
When I find me an English man… So find me an English man!

I’ll find me an English Man
I won’t be praying for miracles
‘Cause I’ll have yearly physicals
I won’t lose my house if I’m sick in bed
Or have to keep working ‘til I drop dead
If I find me an English man… So find me an English man!

I’ll find me an English man!
No more co-pays! And all that deductible shit would all just go away!
I SAID I DON’T WANT NO MORE CO-PAYS! NO! NO!

(I’ll find me an English man)
You could be my little Welsh rare-bit –
(Or I’ll find me an English man)
If you’re wearing a kilt, oh I’m good with it!
(I’ll find me an English man)
I said I don’t want no more co-pays! No! No!